The Life and Times of a Chronic Snoozer

I will be the first to admit that I have a problem: I am a chronic snoozer. I am that person who has five alarms set to wake up on time for their 9:00 class, and still manage to sleep through four of them. 

A realistic representation of what my alarm screen looks like

I've tried going to bed early, I've tried placing a real alarm clock on the opposite side of my desk (sleeping Brittany was able to reach it from the bed with no problems), I've tried setting my If This Then That app to call me to wake me up. Nothing I try works. In high school, I could wake up two hours before school started no problem. Unfortunately, college has changed me. I have super human sleeping abilities that let me do cool things like snooze my alarm and sleep on top of books. 

Kinda like this.

But I'm going to beat the alarm clock. Tonight, I downloaded a new alarm clock app, Freaky Alarm, for the whopping price of $1.99. This is a big commitment due to the fact I usually don't download an app unless it has the price of free. This app makes users do puzzles, solve math problems or even take photos of an object before it will be silenced. 

I want to become a functioning member of society before the sunrises. I don't want to be lazy and incapable of getting homework done before classes start or making myself breakfast because I can't drag myself out of bed. Hopefully, Freaky Alarm fixes this. I know I'm not the only one who has a sleeping problem in college, how do you guys make yourself roll out of bed?